Post by Emcee on May 12, 2005 3:14:51 GMT -5
I know what you're saying "What? She can write a fanfic on her own series but not the next episode?"
Well, I'm having a bit of trouble on that. It is coming, I swear. Having a little case of block on the ep. To try and break it, I decided to free associate, hoping something would come to me. I ended up wondering why exactly Salome calls Connor "Ace" constantly, so I decided to write about it. What came out what not at all what I expected, but I'm pleasantly surprised.
Hopefully this will make up for the delay!
Title: Names
Author: Emcee
Word Count: 500
Synopsis: Seven names all for the same boy and what they mean to him.
****
Holtz called him Steven. It was a name drenched in the blood of a thousand demons. It was the name of a boy who did not exist any more. What he knew now, what he didn't know then, was that Steven Holtz died the second he set eyes on Angel. Perhaps Steven Holtz had never really been alive. He had been constructed, nothing but a tool for vengeance. It was a name for disgusting, twisted truths.
Cordelia called him Sweet Boy. It was not as much a name as it was a brand-- My sweet boy. It was the constant reminder that she was the only one who cared for him, that she was the only one who truly understood him. All meaning in it was lost the moment that girl-- he hadn't known her name-- was murdered for their child. It was a name for pretty lies whispered at night that meant nothing in the harsh light of day.
Jasmine called him Father. It was the name of her Champion, her only willing disciple. It was a joke. He had not created Jasmine. She had created him. But it fed his desperate need for blood, for a connection. When he looked into her eyes, eyes begging him to kill his own father, he knew it was a lie. It was the most beautiful lie; the one he needed, but could never, believe.
Angel called him Son. It was the truth. It was desperate, unvarnished love held out before him. Held out in offering, only to be rejected again and again. His love was so twisted in hate, he could not love his father without destroying them both. It was the name he could never accept.
Colleen called him Sweetheart. It was gentle and beautiful. It was always whispered with the greatest of care. She held him tight and told him how she chose him in the orphanage. How he smiled at her as a baby and she knew she had to have him as her own. But none of it was true-- just a fairy tale written by Wolfram and Hart. It was his father's love, repackaged as something he could withstand.
Salome called him Ace. It was completely ludicrous. It was a name he himself had never understood. With a grin on her face, she would slide her fingers into his hair. She would whisper the name and crush their mouths together. He never recoiled at the name. There was such affection in the random moniker he never questioned it. The nickname stripped him of his defences, of everything before her. It was her acceptance of him-- blood-soaked past and all.
He called himself Connor Angel. It was something he had tried to hide from for twenty years. It was something the fabric of existence had been altered to avoid. But, deep down, he knew it was etched in his soul. His blood screamed the name, told him it was the name of the champion that ached to be. He had to keep it to himself. It was too fragile a name to share with the world.
Well, I'm having a bit of trouble on that. It is coming, I swear. Having a little case of block on the ep. To try and break it, I decided to free associate, hoping something would come to me. I ended up wondering why exactly Salome calls Connor "Ace" constantly, so I decided to write about it. What came out what not at all what I expected, but I'm pleasantly surprised.
Hopefully this will make up for the delay!
Title: Names
Author: Emcee
Word Count: 500
Synopsis: Seven names all for the same boy and what they mean to him.
****
Holtz called him Steven. It was a name drenched in the blood of a thousand demons. It was the name of a boy who did not exist any more. What he knew now, what he didn't know then, was that Steven Holtz died the second he set eyes on Angel. Perhaps Steven Holtz had never really been alive. He had been constructed, nothing but a tool for vengeance. It was a name for disgusting, twisted truths.
Cordelia called him Sweet Boy. It was not as much a name as it was a brand-- My sweet boy. It was the constant reminder that she was the only one who cared for him, that she was the only one who truly understood him. All meaning in it was lost the moment that girl-- he hadn't known her name-- was murdered for their child. It was a name for pretty lies whispered at night that meant nothing in the harsh light of day.
Jasmine called him Father. It was the name of her Champion, her only willing disciple. It was a joke. He had not created Jasmine. She had created him. But it fed his desperate need for blood, for a connection. When he looked into her eyes, eyes begging him to kill his own father, he knew it was a lie. It was the most beautiful lie; the one he needed, but could never, believe.
Angel called him Son. It was the truth. It was desperate, unvarnished love held out before him. Held out in offering, only to be rejected again and again. His love was so twisted in hate, he could not love his father without destroying them both. It was the name he could never accept.
Colleen called him Sweetheart. It was gentle and beautiful. It was always whispered with the greatest of care. She held him tight and told him how she chose him in the orphanage. How he smiled at her as a baby and she knew she had to have him as her own. But none of it was true-- just a fairy tale written by Wolfram and Hart. It was his father's love, repackaged as something he could withstand.
Salome called him Ace. It was completely ludicrous. It was a name he himself had never understood. With a grin on her face, she would slide her fingers into his hair. She would whisper the name and crush their mouths together. He never recoiled at the name. There was such affection in the random moniker he never questioned it. The nickname stripped him of his defences, of everything before her. It was her acceptance of him-- blood-soaked past and all.
He called himself Connor Angel. It was something he had tried to hide from for twenty years. It was something the fabric of existence had been altered to avoid. But, deep down, he knew it was etched in his soul. His blood screamed the name, told him it was the name of the champion that ached to be. He had to keep it to himself. It was too fragile a name to share with the world.
