Post by boywonder on Apr 21, 2006 17:07:41 GMT -5
Title: Officially Missing Salome
Author: boywonder
Rating: PG-13 for mature (non-sexual) content.
Setting: Right after the last scene of "2x05: Butterfly"
Author's Note: Story title inspired by the Tamia song "Officially Missing You." I wanted to write a story that explored the bonds between alt-Connor, alt-Az, and alt-Spike. This may not be TNP canon, though. So, here it is. Enjoy!
********************************
Connor laid in his bed several minutes after staring at the picture of Salome and her Connor again. The picture was tucked away under Connor's pillow as Connor lay in the dark room, brooding. He rolled onto his back and put his hands on his face.
Suddenly, he heard a gentle knock on the door. Connor tried to ignore the knocking and stayed quiet, hoping whoever it was went away.
"Connor." Connor heard Azriel's voice and inwardly groaned, still keeping silent. "Connor, we need to talk."
Connor sighed deeply. "Come in, Az."
Azriel opened the door and stood in the doorway. He shifted uncomfortably. "Spike wanted me to ask you how you felt about moving into Lamia House. I know you're still sore over Dahlia but..."
Connor sat up, his back propped against the wall. "We won't be living in this apartment anymore?"
"I just figured we could move out of this space and..." Azriel's voice trailed off.
"Fine by me. I never liked it here anyway. Too many bad memories."
"That's what I wanted to talk to you about." Azriel gestured to the bed. "Can I sit down?"
Connor nodded slowly. "Go ahead."
Azriel sat at the foot of the bed. He took a deep breath before beginning.
"It's really interesting how I turned out in that other universe. I mean, I never considered marrying someone that young, no matter how cute they are."
Connor sensed Azriel was about to talk about a sensitive subject, but still tried to appear disinterested. "Yeah."
Azriel paused for a moment. "Connor, Spike and I are worried about you."
Connor looked surprised by the sudden change in the conversation. "Oh?"
Azriel nodded. "Ever since Salome left, we've noticed you seem a little different."
"I'm fine, Az," Connor snapped. "Really."
Azriel raised his hands defensively. "All right, all right. Do you want me to leave?"
Tears began to well up in Connor's eyes. "No." He moved over to where Azriel was sitting and buried his face in Azriel's shoulder.
"There, there. I'm here." Azriel gently patted Connor's back. "You really miss her, don't you?"
"Yes." Connor's voice sounded muffled between sobs.
Azriel shook his head sadly. "I had a feeling this would happen."
Connor looked up to face Azriel. He tried to wipe his eyes. "What would happen?"
"Your feelings getting hurt because you got too attached to Salome. You knew she couldn't stay here. She doesn't belong here."
Connor was still sniffling. "I know. But it hurts."
"Just like it did when I lost Meerna," Azriel said in an even tone. "But you have to move on because life doesn't stop for anyone. You can't waste time trying to change things that are beyond your control."
"It's not just that, Az. I killed someone."
Azriel suddenly realized what Connor meant. "Oni?"
Connor nodded, not saying anything else.
Azriel sighed deeply, putting one hand on Connor's back. "You were just doing your job. You shouldn't feel that bad about it."
"But what if Salome was right? What if she was willing to change? What if she could have helped us defeat Cyvus Vail?"
"I don't know what I can say to make you feel better. I just don't."
Connor shook his head slowly. "It's just...Andrew, Jules, Rona...they all died. And for what? It just feels like...like we're fighting a losing battle."
Azriel suddenly turned Connor around to face him.
"Look at me, Connor. What would your father say if he heard you talking like this? What would Rona or Andrew or even Jules say if they heard you were giving up this easy? Do you think this would honor their memory?"
Connor, shocked by Azriel's abrupt change, was stunned silent.
"Sure, it would be nice if we save everyone. But the truth is, we can't. All we can do is learn from our mistakes and save as many other people as we possibly can from the coming darkness."
"But what about Wesley?" Connor asked when he finally found his voice.
"What about Wesley?"
"What about Wesley?" Connor repeated. "How are we going to save him?"
Azriel lowered his head. "We may not be able to save him. Vail may have been in him too long. There may be nothing left to save."
"But I owe Wesley my life!" Connor said desperately. "If he hadn't destroyed the Orlon window, I would have been torn apart by Sahjahn."
"And his life is worth millions, perhaps billions, of innocent lives?"
Connor turned somber. He didn't know what to say.
Azriel continued. "I don't like it anymore than you do. But we may have no other choice. We can try to drain Vail using the Nyazian Fang before using it to kill him. It's the only way we're going to ever see any of our friends at the Council ever again."
Connor started speaking. "I don't like it either but I'd like to keep our options open. I just wish we didn't have to kill Wesley."
Azriel turned serious. "I wish we didn't either but if Vail is planning something with the First, we may not have any options to keep open."
Azriel's expression then brightened. "But I have a feeling there'll be plenty of time to worry about it later. Isn't your birthday coming up in a few weeks?"
Connor welcomed this change in subject. "That's right."
"Happy birthday, Connor." Azriel drew Connor into a hug.
Connor eagerly embraced Azriel. "Thanks, Az."
Azriel began to lead Connor out of the room. "Come on, let's celebrate by helping Spike move us out of here. I can't stand this place any longer."
Connor laughed as he and Azriel left the bedroom.
Author: boywonder
Rating: PG-13 for mature (non-sexual) content.
Setting: Right after the last scene of "2x05: Butterfly"
Author's Note: Story title inspired by the Tamia song "Officially Missing You." I wanted to write a story that explored the bonds between alt-Connor, alt-Az, and alt-Spike. This may not be TNP canon, though. So, here it is. Enjoy!
********************************
Connor laid in his bed several minutes after staring at the picture of Salome and her Connor again. The picture was tucked away under Connor's pillow as Connor lay in the dark room, brooding. He rolled onto his back and put his hands on his face.
Suddenly, he heard a gentle knock on the door. Connor tried to ignore the knocking and stayed quiet, hoping whoever it was went away.
"Connor." Connor heard Azriel's voice and inwardly groaned, still keeping silent. "Connor, we need to talk."
Connor sighed deeply. "Come in, Az."
Azriel opened the door and stood in the doorway. He shifted uncomfortably. "Spike wanted me to ask you how you felt about moving into Lamia House. I know you're still sore over Dahlia but..."
Connor sat up, his back propped against the wall. "We won't be living in this apartment anymore?"
"I just figured we could move out of this space and..." Azriel's voice trailed off.
"Fine by me. I never liked it here anyway. Too many bad memories."
"That's what I wanted to talk to you about." Azriel gestured to the bed. "Can I sit down?"
Connor nodded slowly. "Go ahead."
Azriel sat at the foot of the bed. He took a deep breath before beginning.
"It's really interesting how I turned out in that other universe. I mean, I never considered marrying someone that young, no matter how cute they are."
Connor sensed Azriel was about to talk about a sensitive subject, but still tried to appear disinterested. "Yeah."
Azriel paused for a moment. "Connor, Spike and I are worried about you."
Connor looked surprised by the sudden change in the conversation. "Oh?"
Azriel nodded. "Ever since Salome left, we've noticed you seem a little different."
"I'm fine, Az," Connor snapped. "Really."
Azriel raised his hands defensively. "All right, all right. Do you want me to leave?"
Tears began to well up in Connor's eyes. "No." He moved over to where Azriel was sitting and buried his face in Azriel's shoulder.
"There, there. I'm here." Azriel gently patted Connor's back. "You really miss her, don't you?"
"Yes." Connor's voice sounded muffled between sobs.
Azriel shook his head sadly. "I had a feeling this would happen."
Connor looked up to face Azriel. He tried to wipe his eyes. "What would happen?"
"Your feelings getting hurt because you got too attached to Salome. You knew she couldn't stay here. She doesn't belong here."
Connor was still sniffling. "I know. But it hurts."
"Just like it did when I lost Meerna," Azriel said in an even tone. "But you have to move on because life doesn't stop for anyone. You can't waste time trying to change things that are beyond your control."
"It's not just that, Az. I killed someone."
Azriel suddenly realized what Connor meant. "Oni?"
Connor nodded, not saying anything else.
Azriel sighed deeply, putting one hand on Connor's back. "You were just doing your job. You shouldn't feel that bad about it."
"But what if Salome was right? What if she was willing to change? What if she could have helped us defeat Cyvus Vail?"
"I don't know what I can say to make you feel better. I just don't."
Connor shook his head slowly. "It's just...Andrew, Jules, Rona...they all died. And for what? It just feels like...like we're fighting a losing battle."
Azriel suddenly turned Connor around to face him.
"Look at me, Connor. What would your father say if he heard you talking like this? What would Rona or Andrew or even Jules say if they heard you were giving up this easy? Do you think this would honor their memory?"
Connor, shocked by Azriel's abrupt change, was stunned silent.
"Sure, it would be nice if we save everyone. But the truth is, we can't. All we can do is learn from our mistakes and save as many other people as we possibly can from the coming darkness."
"But what about Wesley?" Connor asked when he finally found his voice.
"What about Wesley?"
"What about Wesley?" Connor repeated. "How are we going to save him?"
Azriel lowered his head. "We may not be able to save him. Vail may have been in him too long. There may be nothing left to save."
"But I owe Wesley my life!" Connor said desperately. "If he hadn't destroyed the Orlon window, I would have been torn apart by Sahjahn."
"And his life is worth millions, perhaps billions, of innocent lives?"
Connor turned somber. He didn't know what to say.
Azriel continued. "I don't like it anymore than you do. But we may have no other choice. We can try to drain Vail using the Nyazian Fang before using it to kill him. It's the only way we're going to ever see any of our friends at the Council ever again."
Connor started speaking. "I don't like it either but I'd like to keep our options open. I just wish we didn't have to kill Wesley."
Azriel turned serious. "I wish we didn't either but if Vail is planning something with the First, we may not have any options to keep open."
Azriel's expression then brightened. "But I have a feeling there'll be plenty of time to worry about it later. Isn't your birthday coming up in a few weeks?"
Connor welcomed this change in subject. "That's right."
"Happy birthday, Connor." Azriel drew Connor into a hug.
Connor eagerly embraced Azriel. "Thanks, Az."
Azriel began to lead Connor out of the room. "Come on, let's celebrate by helping Spike move us out of here. I can't stand this place any longer."
Connor laughed as he and Azriel left the bedroom.
