Post by Emcee on May 29, 2005 9:49:47 GMT -5
I originally posted this essay in my Livejournal. Since it deals heavily with Connor, I thought I would repost it here. I'd love any comments or additions:
Our Time is Never Up
AKA Why the Memory Spell Blows
I've always been bothered by the memory spell performed in "Home". Of course, there are the obvious reasons for my discomfort. I loved Connor and the memory spell took him off the show. So, of course, that would make me dislike it.
I was rewatching "Orpheus" and I realized the deeper reason as to my problems with the spell.
AtS has always been a story of redemption. Angel becomes a Champion for the good to make up for centuries of mayhem. Throughout the years he gains other allies. As Doyle said in "City Of..." "We all have something to atone for."
Doyle allowed the Brachen demons to be killed. It was his guilt that gave him the visions and put Angel on his path.
Cordelia said on several occasions she felt her work with Angel was making up for her time as the evil bitch of Sunnydale.
Wesley is making up for his failures with Faith and the Watcher's Council. Later on, when he truly gets interesting, he is trying to make up for his betrayal of Angel and the kidnapping of Connor.
Gunn feels he let his sister get killed. While he was fighting demons prior to this, he never would have joined Angel's gang if he didn't feel the guilt of Alonna's death.
Spike, like Angel, has to atone for his crimes as a soulless killer. While Spike claims he doesn't care about atonement, his actions in "Destiny" and "Soul Purpose" clearly shows he wants the same things Angel does. He wants to be a good man, he wants people to be able to see him as he is now and not for his dark past.
The only two who do not really fit into this guilt=Champion mould are Fred and Lorne. However, their roles of Champions are highly debated, so I will leave them out of it. But most of Angel's compatriots had something they felt they had to pay for.
"Faith, listen to me. You saw me drink. It doesn't get much lower than that… and I thought I could make up for it by disappearing. (...) Our time is never up, Faith. We pay for everything."
--Angel "Orpheus"
It is the mission statement of the show. Angel sees quite a bit of himself in Faith. They are both trying to make up for their past deeds. But his true mirror is his son. Angel and Connor have a lot in common-- more than Connor would ever want to admit.
When Connor first enters this dimension from Quortoth, he doesn't seem to have a lot of sins. Quortoth was a hell dimension and he spent his life fighting demons. There wasn't really a lot of time to build up the guilt. But pretty much, right out of the gate, he begins to rack up the sins. He tries to kill Cordelia, he sinks Angel to the bottom of the ocean.
Why did Connor stay with Fred and Gunn after Angel was sent into the Pacific? It could be argued that he just wanted to make sure they didn't find Angel. But if he truly wanted to keep them off the trail, he could have just been a few seconds later coming in to save them from the vampires. It was him who saved Fred from the axe coming at her head.
Recently, when watching "Tomorrow", I noticed something very interesting. After dumping Angel in the ocean, Connor spends a very long time watching Angel sink. But instead of a look of satisfaction, he looks regretful. Connor regretted his decision the moment Angel hit the water. I'm sure on the way back to shore, Justine told him what he did was a good thing. She might have also told him how the people Angel worked with would kill him if they found out. As Justine was under Holtz's tutelage, I can see her being able to speak like him, something Connor would know and accept.
I think remaining with Fred and Gunn was not to make sure Angel stayed in the ocean, but to repent for what he did. He's scared and feels he can't just tell Fred and Gunn what he did. I'm sure he felt if he did, they would just kill him. Judging at what happened to him after they found out, his fears were not unfounded.
"It's not all about fighting and gadgets and stuff. It's about reaching out to people, showing them that there’s love and hope still left in the world. (...) It's about letting them into your heart. It's not about saving lives; it's about saving souls. Hey, possibly your own in the process."
--Doyle, "City Of"
After Angel kicks Connor out of the house, he continues to try and repent. He goes out and kills vampires. He saves people. His actions are very much like Angel in "City Of...". He comes out of nowhere to kill demons. But, unlike Angel, he desperately tries to make a connection to those he saves: talking to the family he rescues at the side of the road, accepting the prostitute's advances. It took the speech from Doyle for Angel to learn he had to let people into his life to save his soul. Connor does it naturally.
When the manipulations by Cordelia start, Connor feels he now has a purpose. He's her personal Champion. He is now doing good and he has the emotionally connection he craves. As Spike and Lindsey demonstrate in "Soul Purpose" through "You're Welcome", it's very easy to get confused as to what the side of good is. Angel, in a way, got lucky that Doyle was indeed a good man.
"You got in. Thought you might."
--Connor, "Home"
Throughout BtVS and AtS, it's been very common for the heroes with something to atone for to try and commit suicide. Only, everyone who had done it has tried to get someone else to do it for them. In the true "turning point" episodes for these characters, they've tried to get someone else to kill them.
Angel tries to get Buffy to kill him in "Angel". "Angel" is truly the moment Angel starts his redemption. Prior to this, he is just the mysterious stranger to who gives Buffy cryptic clues. "Angel" is when he takes an active part in the fighting of evil. Faith tries to get Angel to kill her in "Five By Five". After this, Faith goes to prison to repent and afterwards is clearly a champion for good. Spike tries to get Buffy to kill him in "Sleeper". While he got his soul before, this is the time when truly registers and he starts on the path of redemption.
Connor goes one step further in "Home". He tries to kill himself, along with a crowd of people. While he says, "I thought you might" as opposed to "I knew you would", judging by his smile when Angel comes in, I believe he knew. It might not have been conscious on his part, but I think deep down he knew. He wanted Angel to come and save him, even if it meant killing him. Because, to the heroes, true redemption only comes in death.
"Nothing in the world is the way it ought to be. - It's harsh, and cruel. - But that's why there's us. Champions. It doesn't matter where we come from, what we've done or suffered, or even if we make a difference. We live as though the world was what it should be, to show it what it can be. - You're not a part of that yet."
--Angel, "Deep Down"
Angel's true failing comes from his outlook. Yes, the world is harsh and cruel. But there are things that make it better. Certainly Connor made the world better for Angel. As a baby, Connor filled Angel with a joy that he had never known before. He experiences this several times with the adult version of Connor (After the vampire fight in "Benediction", while sparring with Connor and fighting the Wolfram and Hart agents in "Tomorrow", watching Connor fight in "The House Always Wins"). If Angel had truly wanted to make a connection to his son, he would have told him this. Darla tried in "Inside Out", ("You brought light to my shadow, filled my heart with joy and love. I’d never felt so close to any living thing as I did to my beautiful boy.") but it meant very little coming from a woman he didn't know and was told repeatedly had abandoned him. Coming from Angel, it would have meant something.
I digress. The topic of Connor means so much to me, I tend to go on and lose my train of thought. The point I am trying to make is that Connor was not beyond saving, even in "Home". If he was, then so was Angel in "Angel" (or "Amends"), Faith in "Five by Five" and Spike in "Sleeper". But no one gave up on them. Angel did give up on Connor.
"I have her memories, her feelings. Isn’t that what makes a person who they are?"
--Darla, "Inside Out"
Whether or not Angel physically killed Connor is debatable, but he did spiritually kill him. What is a person but their memories? Connor Riley is certainly not Connor Angel. Angel took Connor's life. Taking someone's life is another way to say killing. Angel didn't give Connor the same chance he gave others, to redeem for their pasts. Instead, he took the easy way out.
Changing Connor's memories does not bring Cordelia out of her coma or stop the reign of Jasmine. From that, I take it that it does not bring back the girl Cordelia and Connor killed in the slaughterhouse. Everything Connor did is still there, he just can't remember it. He still has things to atone for. Yes, he was manipulated. But manipulation doesn't exempt Spike from killing all of those people by order of the First, or Andrew's murder of Jonathan, or Wesley's kidnapping of Connor. AtS spent years telling its audience that the only true redemption comes from years of hard work and sacrifice. It doesn't come from a spell (Angel's rejection of the Ring of Amara and turning back time to stop Mora proves this).
The memory spell goes against everything four years of AtS drilled into its audience. (And just as a completely meta comment, it seems to me a convenient plot device to make the show more episodic in its fifth season). It leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Not only does Angel go against his core belief, but he sells his soul to do it. He is never happy working for Wolfram and Hart and, in the end, it's quite possible he died. Angel essentially destroyed himself to destroy his son. That's not a message I really like. If their was ever a true misstep on Angel's path to redemption, it was this. Angel may have saved Connor's life-- his body-- but he didn't save his essence-- his soul.
Our Time is Never Up
AKA Why the Memory Spell Blows
I've always been bothered by the memory spell performed in "Home". Of course, there are the obvious reasons for my discomfort. I loved Connor and the memory spell took him off the show. So, of course, that would make me dislike it.
I was rewatching "Orpheus" and I realized the deeper reason as to my problems with the spell.
AtS has always been a story of redemption. Angel becomes a Champion for the good to make up for centuries of mayhem. Throughout the years he gains other allies. As Doyle said in "City Of..." "We all have something to atone for."
Doyle allowed the Brachen demons to be killed. It was his guilt that gave him the visions and put Angel on his path.
Cordelia said on several occasions she felt her work with Angel was making up for her time as the evil bitch of Sunnydale.
Wesley is making up for his failures with Faith and the Watcher's Council. Later on, when he truly gets interesting, he is trying to make up for his betrayal of Angel and the kidnapping of Connor.
Gunn feels he let his sister get killed. While he was fighting demons prior to this, he never would have joined Angel's gang if he didn't feel the guilt of Alonna's death.
Spike, like Angel, has to atone for his crimes as a soulless killer. While Spike claims he doesn't care about atonement, his actions in "Destiny" and "Soul Purpose" clearly shows he wants the same things Angel does. He wants to be a good man, he wants people to be able to see him as he is now and not for his dark past.
The only two who do not really fit into this guilt=Champion mould are Fred and Lorne. However, their roles of Champions are highly debated, so I will leave them out of it. But most of Angel's compatriots had something they felt they had to pay for.
"Faith, listen to me. You saw me drink. It doesn't get much lower than that… and I thought I could make up for it by disappearing. (...) Our time is never up, Faith. We pay for everything."
--Angel "Orpheus"
It is the mission statement of the show. Angel sees quite a bit of himself in Faith. They are both trying to make up for their past deeds. But his true mirror is his son. Angel and Connor have a lot in common-- more than Connor would ever want to admit.
When Connor first enters this dimension from Quortoth, he doesn't seem to have a lot of sins. Quortoth was a hell dimension and he spent his life fighting demons. There wasn't really a lot of time to build up the guilt. But pretty much, right out of the gate, he begins to rack up the sins. He tries to kill Cordelia, he sinks Angel to the bottom of the ocean.
Why did Connor stay with Fred and Gunn after Angel was sent into the Pacific? It could be argued that he just wanted to make sure they didn't find Angel. But if he truly wanted to keep them off the trail, he could have just been a few seconds later coming in to save them from the vampires. It was him who saved Fred from the axe coming at her head.
Recently, when watching "Tomorrow", I noticed something very interesting. After dumping Angel in the ocean, Connor spends a very long time watching Angel sink. But instead of a look of satisfaction, he looks regretful. Connor regretted his decision the moment Angel hit the water. I'm sure on the way back to shore, Justine told him what he did was a good thing. She might have also told him how the people Angel worked with would kill him if they found out. As Justine was under Holtz's tutelage, I can see her being able to speak like him, something Connor would know and accept.
I think remaining with Fred and Gunn was not to make sure Angel stayed in the ocean, but to repent for what he did. He's scared and feels he can't just tell Fred and Gunn what he did. I'm sure he felt if he did, they would just kill him. Judging at what happened to him after they found out, his fears were not unfounded.
"It's not all about fighting and gadgets and stuff. It's about reaching out to people, showing them that there’s love and hope still left in the world. (...) It's about letting them into your heart. It's not about saving lives; it's about saving souls. Hey, possibly your own in the process."
--Doyle, "City Of"
After Angel kicks Connor out of the house, he continues to try and repent. He goes out and kills vampires. He saves people. His actions are very much like Angel in "City Of...". He comes out of nowhere to kill demons. But, unlike Angel, he desperately tries to make a connection to those he saves: talking to the family he rescues at the side of the road, accepting the prostitute's advances. It took the speech from Doyle for Angel to learn he had to let people into his life to save his soul. Connor does it naturally.
When the manipulations by Cordelia start, Connor feels he now has a purpose. He's her personal Champion. He is now doing good and he has the emotionally connection he craves. As Spike and Lindsey demonstrate in "Soul Purpose" through "You're Welcome", it's very easy to get confused as to what the side of good is. Angel, in a way, got lucky that Doyle was indeed a good man.
"You got in. Thought you might."
--Connor, "Home"
Throughout BtVS and AtS, it's been very common for the heroes with something to atone for to try and commit suicide. Only, everyone who had done it has tried to get someone else to do it for them. In the true "turning point" episodes for these characters, they've tried to get someone else to kill them.
Angel tries to get Buffy to kill him in "Angel". "Angel" is truly the moment Angel starts his redemption. Prior to this, he is just the mysterious stranger to who gives Buffy cryptic clues. "Angel" is when he takes an active part in the fighting of evil. Faith tries to get Angel to kill her in "Five By Five". After this, Faith goes to prison to repent and afterwards is clearly a champion for good. Spike tries to get Buffy to kill him in "Sleeper". While he got his soul before, this is the time when truly registers and he starts on the path of redemption.
Connor goes one step further in "Home". He tries to kill himself, along with a crowd of people. While he says, "I thought you might" as opposed to "I knew you would", judging by his smile when Angel comes in, I believe he knew. It might not have been conscious on his part, but I think deep down he knew. He wanted Angel to come and save him, even if it meant killing him. Because, to the heroes, true redemption only comes in death.
"Nothing in the world is the way it ought to be. - It's harsh, and cruel. - But that's why there's us. Champions. It doesn't matter where we come from, what we've done or suffered, or even if we make a difference. We live as though the world was what it should be, to show it what it can be. - You're not a part of that yet."
--Angel, "Deep Down"
Angel's true failing comes from his outlook. Yes, the world is harsh and cruel. But there are things that make it better. Certainly Connor made the world better for Angel. As a baby, Connor filled Angel with a joy that he had never known before. He experiences this several times with the adult version of Connor (After the vampire fight in "Benediction", while sparring with Connor and fighting the Wolfram and Hart agents in "Tomorrow", watching Connor fight in "The House Always Wins"). If Angel had truly wanted to make a connection to his son, he would have told him this. Darla tried in "Inside Out", ("You brought light to my shadow, filled my heart with joy and love. I’d never felt so close to any living thing as I did to my beautiful boy.") but it meant very little coming from a woman he didn't know and was told repeatedly had abandoned him. Coming from Angel, it would have meant something.
I digress. The topic of Connor means so much to me, I tend to go on and lose my train of thought. The point I am trying to make is that Connor was not beyond saving, even in "Home". If he was, then so was Angel in "Angel" (or "Amends"), Faith in "Five by Five" and Spike in "Sleeper". But no one gave up on them. Angel did give up on Connor.
"I have her memories, her feelings. Isn’t that what makes a person who they are?"
--Darla, "Inside Out"
Whether or not Angel physically killed Connor is debatable, but he did spiritually kill him. What is a person but their memories? Connor Riley is certainly not Connor Angel. Angel took Connor's life. Taking someone's life is another way to say killing. Angel didn't give Connor the same chance he gave others, to redeem for their pasts. Instead, he took the easy way out.
Changing Connor's memories does not bring Cordelia out of her coma or stop the reign of Jasmine. From that, I take it that it does not bring back the girl Cordelia and Connor killed in the slaughterhouse. Everything Connor did is still there, he just can't remember it. He still has things to atone for. Yes, he was manipulated. But manipulation doesn't exempt Spike from killing all of those people by order of the First, or Andrew's murder of Jonathan, or Wesley's kidnapping of Connor. AtS spent years telling its audience that the only true redemption comes from years of hard work and sacrifice. It doesn't come from a spell (Angel's rejection of the Ring of Amara and turning back time to stop Mora proves this).
The memory spell goes against everything four years of AtS drilled into its audience. (And just as a completely meta comment, it seems to me a convenient plot device to make the show more episodic in its fifth season). It leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Not only does Angel go against his core belief, but he sells his soul to do it. He is never happy working for Wolfram and Hart and, in the end, it's quite possible he died. Angel essentially destroyed himself to destroy his son. That's not a message I really like. If their was ever a true misstep on Angel's path to redemption, it was this. Angel may have saved Connor's life-- his body-- but he didn't save his essence-- his soul.
